Why hello thar!?

Goodbye for now, ElSniperino! We'll miss you :P

Well ElSniperino is gone at the moment, so I'll just be keeping YOU guys updated with what he's doing, just thought you might wanna know!

Want to know more about me, Stig? : http://stiggoldenbullet.blogspot.com/ .

Cya later!

Going to Colaiste Uisce In... 8 Hours

"It will be a great craic over there"

OK, first let me explain the quality of the image. I had no time to cut off the bar(s) at the top so I'm leaving it like this. This is our "just got there" picture. On the left is Paul. He is smart, and also a smart ass sometimes. In the centre is me, a cynical joker with a small chip on my shoulder and on the right in Conor. He is an energetic bastard with a tendency to punch you in the balls and bite when threatened. Even with his slight tendency to cannibalism he is one of my best friends. We're leaving at God knows how early in the morning and we have to stay on a bus for 6+ hours to get across the country. I got lots of phone credit and money so if I find someone to update my blog for me I will.

It will be a great craic over there for the two weeks and I will regale you all with stories of hilarity and embarresment.

Filler_001

Ok, THIS is the filler. I am playing a guitar solo that can only be described as the solo from Aerodynamic, Iron Man by Black Sabbath and the whole of Cliffs of Dover. It could only be more awesome if "it had tits and was on fire".

My Work...Is Done....

After a week of tests and pretending to study, I have finally gotten all of my work done. The only worries about them I have are of my Irish, Business and Classical Studies. I know this is a short post, but it is kind of a filler. Actually the next one is a filler because I have an awesome picture.

New Direction for a Moment

"Who gives a bollocks to Blu-Ray because the only people who use it are snobby ignoramous's and PS3 owners"

I'm not even sure WHY I'm looking into this, but because the first person ever requested it I'll do it.
Semiconductor Wafer Microchip EEstor HDTV Genetics, from what I can gather, is a new affordable technology in the creation of HDTV's and the such, but allow me to talk directly for a moment. I personally don't see a major difference between an ordinary LCD TV and a HDTV because it never really mattered. True, I play most console games, to the exception of my Wii, on an older CRT TV and it kinda looks like shite. True, I would like a HDTV because I have a HD cable for my 360 and it would be awesome. But for general TV and such as long as I can see it it's grand so I have no real need for one except to "bling" out my 360.

Right, back to the chips. Apparently the are so super cheap and of good quality that every screen could be High-defenition and everything else will be useless. Blu-Ray is kind of like HDDVD, but who gives a bollocks to Blu-Ray because the only people who use it are snobby ignoramous's and PS3 owners (Not you, of course Stig).

All in all thesewafer microchips could infact take over the market by 2012 but until then I'll just use my big tube attached to a thick pane of glass in a creaky plastic box.

Put 'em Up!

OK, due to severe boredom and lack of inspiration I need something to genuinely talk about. Preferably I would like someone to request a game to review or preview or maybe ask for another piece of treasure I find behind my Stargate DVD collection. So please, give me something to do!

"The DIG" Review

"I think that LucasArts has officially lost itself"

I've decided to start my reviewing career with a look on an old game I have. Most if not all of you have heard of LucasArts, the company that has done nothing but shoot itself in the foot for the past few years. LucasArts used to be a favourite company of mine for making lovable and funny point and click adventure games such as "Grim Fandango" and "The DIG" but recently have been beating the Star Wars horse so much it's now a lump of rotten lumpy goo. Somewhere along the line the big wigs at LucasArts decided to get rid of the cleverness from games and beat the aforementioned Star Wars horse.

"The DIG" is a 2D point and click adventure game which just adds to feeling like you're playing a classic. The story goes that you and 2 other people, a German scientist and an American journalist, go to space to move an asteroid away from hitting Earth. But after the bombs that move the asteroid blow up, you look in the crater, find signs of alien life then for some arbitrary reason put plates to make a geometrical shape then go hurtling out to space and land on an alien planet. The whole place is 5 spires and a central island and you have to work out how to get home. Pretty soon the German dude Brink dies then a few minutes later you use a random crystal you found on the ground to make him alive again but now he's a hyper-active druggy who's only goal is to piss of everyone else and hang out alone like an emo waiting for his next fix. The chances are that you are never going to play the game so the story continues as the journalist woman is kidnapped by a giant spider while trying to decode and ancient alien language then you have to do this fucking retarded puzzle of re-creating an animals skeletal structure with no clues. Then you find this weird alien who tells you nothing you need to know and it takes half an hour to do so. Then you kill Brink by tackling him so he falls off a cliff. Then you find a big machine which can bring back the aliens but on the way the American bitch dies too which leaves me wondering if this place was an alien city place thing or is it designed to kill people? Then you walk through what can only be described as a dark room with smoke and bubbles. After just walking through you win the fucking game, everyones alive. EVERYONE even Brink and yer woman who are like 60 now are back and the aliens just say "thanks for the help now bugger off" and make another flying pentagon thing and you go home.

The whole game was easy except for two parts. The turtle bones and another one which takes about five years to do. You have to move a floating... thing to pick up a lens and fix it to a generator to get power. It would have been a fair puzzle to figure out if you just had to get the floating thing to the lens but no! You have to use these controls which are annoying to use since they only let you pre-determine where it will go with no prior indication of how far it will go. Then after finally picking it up which you do by putting the floating thing 2 "spaces" above the lens. I say "spaces" because the camera angle is so messed up that it may as well told me to thread a needle blindfolded while jumping out of an aeroplane. After doing so you have to put the lens back onto the machine again by using the floating thing which can fuck right off. I was tempted to abandon the game there but wanted to play it through because the voice acting is pure gold. The "commander" you play as has the typical "I want to keep everyone alive so follow me" attitude which sends all of his friends running off doing something else leaving me very alone except for the communicator which has 4 people on it but for 90% of the game you can only talk to the journalist. The good thing about the communicator is that it has "Lunar Landing" on it which is frightfully addictive. The journalist woman has the "I'm an independent woman" tone mixed with "I'm usually right" making here my number one bitch of 1997. Brink has a thick German accent and is great because he has lines that would have come from an 80's sit com.

Overall I like "The DIG".It's intuitive and fun and even more so because I got it to work on the laptop which is better than running a game on my beefy computer when I could play it whenever I feel like doing a good puzzle. This was one of LucasArts last games before diving into the Star Wars mud puddle and I think LucasArts has officially lost itself after Grim Fandango. Incidentally Tim Schafer, a key member of LucasArts cleverness before it's demise has made the company "Double Fine" and I hope that he makes another point and click game to fill my life with laughter and clicking.

PC Problems

"It seems as though my PC wants to destroy me and all my stuff because I try to play games on it"

Well, it seems as though I update pretty often for now. Good or not I'll let you figure that out. Recently, especially since I've started "studying", my PC keeps repeatedly pissing itself then dying. The first problem was when the screen wouldn't turn on. At first I was certain that it was the plug not being in properly. After a few hefty kicks in the socket the screen still wouldn't turn back on. I dragged my tower from under my 1 square metre table to my 3 square metre floor and checked the cables. The cables were fine, and by this point I was considering dumping the screen on the floor and go downstairs to play Psychonauts when I had a brainwave. I took the beaten plug from the socket and found a random piece of metal and spent 5 minutes taking the plastic off of the fuse cover. Finally I got it off and found that the fuse was miss-aligned. I fixed it and put it back in and happily turned on my PC to play some BioShock demo. I started up steam and to my complete and utter amazement my PC wasn't behaving, says ElSniperino thick with sarcasm. I accidentally loaded Gmod instead of Bioshock but I was going to have lunch so I thought that I could exit it after lunch.

After lunch I got back upstairs to a blue screen staring at me defiantly in the eyes. My desktop seems to be "Schrodinger's PC", being both dead and not dead until I walk into the room and the waveform collapses. Thankfully to some degree, it wasn't the Blue-Screen-of-Death but somehow the graphics card failed while showing a 2D screen. I restarted the computer and ran the Counter-Strike: Source video stress test which passed at 85 fps on average. I started up the BioShock demo when suddenly... nothing wrong happens. I happily play 2K's great first person shooter which I hear a movie is being made of it. After about 20 minutes I finish the demo and update all my Gmod SVN's so I can keep up with all the other up-to-date pricks out there and when I copy my SpaceBuild models over to my addons folder the elevator is named to long for XP to fucking handle, although my laptop can handle it fine.

Note: The last comment about my laptop handling it has now shit itself inside out, now it to has jumped on the band-wagon of "Too long to specify" name which frankly is a bunch of bullshit and chips

Who ever named it so long, you know who you are, should really be ashamed of themselves for naming it so god damned long. I abandon the models and go to play some wholesome singleplayer with my new toys, but when I load up the first thing the fucking PC crashes. It seems as though my PC wants to destroy me and all my stuff because I try to play games on it.

Anyways, just to say that I will make a pre-posted update from my time in the Gealtacht because the only internet is a 20 minute drive away from the house which we can't do so stop whining about a lack of updates I'm doing the best I can so sit down and enjoy it, it's all you're getting.

Just a Little Update

I just tought of something to make some of my points less of a psychotic jabbering and more of an understandable jabbering for the people who need help dressing themselves so I've decided to add images where appropriate. I will make them in Gmod, some on my laptop, and some on my desktop. You will see the difference between the two machines because the laptop was specificaly designed to not play Source games properly so the lighting, models and maybe even the textures will be either better, worse or strangly cool in an "artistic" type of way.
Here is an example, which I was going to use souly for a post about me studying and my tests but decided to use them here, and due to the akwardness of this blog, the pic is at the top. Take it away, myself.

Well, isn't this interesting?

So, this is....my blog. Not much to say right now, it's about 45 seconds old so don't expect much from me so far. Anyways, it's gonna stay like this for the next few weeks because of exams and the Gealtacht for anyone who knows me know what this is. If you don't know what this is however, let me educate you. The Gealtacht (pronounced "Gale-talkt") is a 2-3 week course in which you speak nothing but Irish and have fun. By the way I am Irish so anyone who is wondering

1.No, I do not have a sheep-dog, or sheep.
2.No, we do not say "Oh, begosh" or any other stereotypical crap like that.
3.Yes, we do have Domino's Pizza, it's very good.

Right, now that's cleared up, let me just say that in each of my posts that I will be writing in the most journalistic, humourous and cynical manner I can obtain.

Now just to put in here, look at Stig Goldenbullet's blog. He's my friend and a fackeen oresum person too.