Well, I have been letting this place slip in the last while, but I'm back with a new list of games ready to be picked apart by my inexperienced self.
Homeworld is probably a great Space-Sim with lots of very interesting features, if it hadn't bored me to death before the first part of the fucking STORY! The only thing that kept me playing was writing a review of it, which I'm trying to do but is as hard as hell.
The story, I think, is that you are given a huge mother-fucking ship and on the first test your home planet goes to hell and you have to find a planet that was written on some ancient stone or something. Honestly, I didn't really care for the story as I was looking for the awesome space combat action!
That, too, shitted itself inside out. From the very first battle I realised that "This is going to be long and boring", and it was. I won't even bother explaining more than "Wait for ships to be built, fight a long and uninteresting battle, repeat". I'm sure that there's better action later but if a plan to draw out game is to make it go at a snails pace until they DECIDE to make it worth playing isn't going to work.
As you can see, it's very much a "First Impressions". It is also a "Last Impressions". I thoroughly did not enjoy this game and wouldn't recommend it to anyone other than WoW fans and Koreans.
11.9.08
Battlefield: Bad Company Review
I know I've been quiet here lately, my life has been filled with frankly more interesting and time consuming. Things have started to change around me very fast and you fussy bugger(s) should be happy that I got time to review ONE game when there are a few I've been thinking of. Battlefield Bad Company to me, someone who hasn't owned any other Battlefield game, is the best of the series. I know what you're thinking:
How can he think a game is the best in a series if he hasn't owned any other ones in the said series
Hey! Shut up! I've played Battlefield and Battlefield 2 and I thought tht they were one of the meh-est games out there: not too good, not too bad. Bad Company changes this with cinematics and cut-scenes worthy of Speilberg himself, and voice actors of the same level. There are four other people in your squad, each with their own personality and humour. Sweetwater, the more level-headed guy with the glasses. Hubbard who makes holes in anything, even at the most inappropriate times and then there's Sarge. I'm not sure who he reminds me more of; the black guy from Predator or Johnson from the Halo series.
Now, to not beat around the flaming-exploding bush, the physics engine is one of the best I've ever seen. Fuck the Halo 3 engine and to an extent the Gold Source engine too, Bad Companies engine is detailed and brilliant in pretty much every aspect. See that house? Think you can use it as cover? WELL TOO BAD, it's already been blown to hell by that Rusky with the grenade launcher trying to figure out where you are! About 90-99% of everything is destructable, including buildings, vehicles, even the fucking ground can be churned up with an explosion. Also, the sound in this game is amazing. It's crisp and unique for each weapon.
The story is fairly basic: You're in B Company, or Bad Company, and are fighting the Russians for some..... thing that I wasn't paying attention about. Then come the Mercenaries who get paid in gold, the squad gets all big eyed and goes after some more. In doing so they literally invade a country with a one man army and go "Fuck it, we're in shit anyways, let's go get us some gold!" and like the greedy prospectors they are, they tank into a neutral country, grab some gold then get caught by the US army and taken back. Then they get thrown back into the meatgrinder to redeem themselves then when they do their mission they get cut loose. That's all I'm going to give right now, for my own reasons.
Now, past the good stuff and on to the juicy shitty parts. Enemy AI couldn't be any more basic. They either stand at windows or near a big whatever and shoot from there. Occasionaly they run to different cover or throw a grenade but not often. The even more shitty thing is, the enemies are freakishly accurate. I was shooting from the top of a fucking DAM shoot down with a sniper and about 4 out of 5 shots hit me or around me.
I've kind of..... lost my train of thought. I'm looking at Rocky 2...... Maybe I'll pick this up some other time but either way this is a MUST BUY game for Xbox or PS3 owners. Next time I might review/ first impressions of Cod4, I finally got a loan of it so I'll do the best that I can.
Now, to not beat around the flaming-exploding bush, the physics engine is one of the best I've ever seen. Fuck the Halo 3 engine and to an extent the Gold Source engine too, Bad Companies engine is detailed and brilliant in pretty much every aspect. See that house? Think you can use it as cover? WELL TOO BAD, it's already been blown to hell by that Rusky with the grenade launcher trying to figure out where you are! About 90-99% of everything is destructable, including buildings, vehicles, even the fucking ground can be churned up with an explosion. Also, the sound in this game is amazing. It's crisp and unique for each weapon.
The story is fairly basic: You're in B Company, or Bad Company, and are fighting the Russians for some..... thing that I wasn't paying attention about. Then come the Mercenaries who get paid in gold, the squad gets all big eyed and goes after some more. In doing so they literally invade a country with a one man army and go "Fuck it, we're in shit anyways, let's go get us some gold!" and like the greedy prospectors they are, they tank into a neutral country, grab some gold then get caught by the US army and taken back. Then they get thrown back into the meatgrinder to redeem themselves then when they do their mission they get cut loose. That's all I'm going to give right now, for my own reasons.
Now, past the good stuff and on to the juicy shitty parts. Enemy AI couldn't be any more basic. They either stand at windows or near a big whatever and shoot from there. Occasionaly they run to different cover or throw a grenade but not often. The even more shitty thing is, the enemies are freakishly accurate. I was shooting from the top of a fucking DAM shoot down with a sniper and about 4 out of 5 shots hit me or around me.
I've kind of..... lost my train of thought. I'm looking at Rocky 2...... Maybe I'll pick this up some other time but either way this is a MUST BUY game for Xbox or PS3 owners. Next time I might review/ first impressions of Cod4, I finally got a loan of it so I'll do the best that I can.
8.8.08
Little In-Game Projects
Yes, I will be doing little projects in Garry's Mod to 1.Help understand everything in it.
2.Stop boredom for a few hours.
They'll mostly be vehicle projects, cars especially because somehow I just really got into Top Gear.
I already got one project done: A supercharged Smart FourTwo!
"How hard can it be?"
2.Stop boredom for a few hours.
They'll mostly be vehicle projects, cars especially because somehow I just really got into Top Gear.
I already got one project done: A supercharged Smart FourTwo!
"How hard can it be?"If you look at the before pictures, it looks like a slow, baby-blue kids shoe. BUT, if you look at the results of many a minute labour.....
The additions are: 4 Wheel Drive
Extended Petrol Tank
Supercharged 5.5 Litre V8 Engine
Speedo and Temperature Gauge off of a Ferrari Enzo
Over Head Seating
New Suspension
Brighter Lights
Turn-Signals
It took me a while to figure out where to put the seat, because If I put it by the drvers side as much as I could the person would be half in the door so the roof was the best I could do.
More soon.
Extended Petrol Tank
Supercharged 5.5 Litre V8 Engine
Speedo and Temperature Gauge off of a Ferrari Enzo
Over Head Seating
New Suspension
Brighter Lights
Turn-Signals
It took me a while to figure out where to put the seat, because If I put it by the drvers side as much as I could the person would be half in the door so the roof was the best I could do.
More soon.
1.8.08
Three Parter Part Three: Day of Defeat
Personally, I was looking forward to this review for a while. It's been the game I've been primarily playing and I think I have a fairly good understanding of the gameplay and game-mechanics so this should be good.
Day of Defeat is a member is the very large family that is official Half-Life 1 mods. It is a team based World War 2 online shooter, the two sides primarily being the Americans against the Germans. The one thing I notice in this game, and it's very welcome, is that it doesn't do all of that Nazi-bashing bullshit games like Medal of Honour has a habit of throwing into our faces. The game just plonks you down into a variety of towns or places that were fought in during the second World War 2 and expects you to fight to the death while capturing locations or blowing up the enemies equipment.
There are a variety of weapons, each different to their side. The Americans are kitted out with the basic Garand, Thompson, Bar selection but also have the Grease gun, 30. Cal, M1 Carbine, Springfield sniper and bazooka. Some useful, most filled with poor accuracy and recoil with the exception of the Thompson. The British (Yes the British, a feature missing from Day of Defeat: Source) have by far the least selection but maybe the best weapons of the bunch. The Sten is accurate and is good for a range but don't expect to be taking out a sniper with it or charging a room because 1: It isn't that accurate
2: It isn't that strong
The only real redeeming feature of it is the very small recoil. The Enfield rifle and scoped Enfield, they can double stack their ammo to hold 10 rounds instead of 5 and are fairly accurate, but I really want to meet the wanker who designed the scope sight on the scoped Enfield. It is poorly designed and crap for almost every reason. It's like a mix between the German and American sniper. It has the + shaped sight from the American scope without the vertical line and the centre aiming pillar of the German sniper. I'll show you some pictures;
The British Scoped Enfield Rifle
The German Scoped Kar98 Rifle
You see! The Enfield's scope is confusing! Sure after a while you get used to it but it's impractical and as soon as you put it down you'll forget where to aim when you use it again. You see, when aiming at anything, you have to obscure it with the tip of the main pillar. The effect grows according to how far away the person is to the extent that it's a complete guess!
Apart from that, the weapons are balanced and well done. The Germans have by far the largest amount of weapons. They have....let's see.... 9 weapons not including the pistol or knife. It's immense! Think of this in car terms: The British are the mini-cooper. Small but packs a well thought out punch. The Germans are the Volkswagen Polo, well built and reasonably good performance but doesn't have that buzz and the Americans are the Saab 9-5. It's average for the most part with one or two highlights, but is slightly over done in other parts which make it un-usable.
In fairness now, they aren't all bad weapons. The MG42 for instance, you think it can only be used correctly when the tripod is used.
Day of Defeat is a member is the very large family that is official Half-Life 1 mods. It is a team based World War 2 online shooter, the two sides primarily being the Americans against the Germans. The one thing I notice in this game, and it's very welcome, is that it doesn't do all of that Nazi-bashing bullshit games like Medal of Honour has a habit of throwing into our faces. The game just plonks you down into a variety of towns or places that were fought in during the second World War 2 and expects you to fight to the death while capturing locations or blowing up the enemies equipment.
There are a variety of weapons, each different to their side. The Americans are kitted out with the basic Garand, Thompson, Bar selection but also have the Grease gun, 30. Cal, M1 Carbine, Springfield sniper and bazooka. Some useful, most filled with poor accuracy and recoil with the exception of the Thompson. The British (Yes the British, a feature missing from Day of Defeat: Source) have by far the least selection but maybe the best weapons of the bunch. The Sten is accurate and is good for a range but don't expect to be taking out a sniper with it or charging a room because 1: It isn't that accurate
2: It isn't that strong
The only real redeeming feature of it is the very small recoil. The Enfield rifle and scoped Enfield, they can double stack their ammo to hold 10 rounds instead of 5 and are fairly accurate, but I really want to meet the wanker who designed the scope sight on the scoped Enfield. It is poorly designed and crap for almost every reason. It's like a mix between the German and American sniper. It has the + shaped sight from the American scope without the vertical line and the centre aiming pillar of the German sniper. I'll show you some pictures;
American Springfield Sniper
The British Scoped Enfield Rifle
The German Scoped Kar98 Rifle
You see! The Enfield's scope is confusing! Sure after a while you get used to it but it's impractical and as soon as you put it down you'll forget where to aim when you use it again. You see, when aiming at anything, you have to obscure it with the tip of the main pillar. The effect grows according to how far away the person is to the extent that it's a complete guess!Apart from that, the weapons are balanced and well done. The Germans have by far the largest amount of weapons. They have....let's see.... 9 weapons not including the pistol or knife. It's immense! Think of this in car terms: The British are the mini-cooper. Small but packs a well thought out punch. The Germans are the Volkswagen Polo, well built and reasonably good performance but doesn't have that buzz and the Americans are the Saab 9-5. It's average for the most part with one or two highlights, but is slightly over done in other parts which make it un-usable.
In fairness now, they aren't all bad weapons. The MG42 for instance, you think it can only be used correctly when the tripod is used.
WRONG!
The MG42 is the perfect weapon to use to Rambo in those tight corridors or when ambushing someone around a corner. Almost every weapon has a secret double purpose, you just have to think outside the box to find them.
I guess I must move onto the other aspects of this game. I'll put them in bulletins for your reading pleasure and sloth:
I guess I must move onto the other aspects of this game. I'll put them in bulletins for your reading pleasure and sloth:
The bottom left of the screen looks like a Da-Vinci bomb.
The ambient noise is expertly done, but it IS Valve so go figure.
The default maps are balanced and generally unbiased to any side.
The weapon selection gives you enough choice to keep you occupied.
The addition of bots could help.
The addition of bots could harm gameplay.
I'm running out of jokes, gimme a fucking break.
The ambient noise is expertly done, but it IS Valve so go figure.
The default maps are balanced and generally unbiased to any side.
The weapon selection gives you enough choice to keep you occupied.
The addition of bots could help.
The addition of bots could harm gameplay.
I'm running out of jokes, gimme a fucking break.
This game is a must buy for any avid online gamer, even those cheap bastards I keep banging on about should get it as an excuse to get Internet. Or buy it on disk for an excuse to buy their own fucking computer. It will give you endless fun if you find the right server and it will finally teach those fucking 8 year olds to realise that spawn camping isn't fair play, even if it's your birthday it's no excuse you immature ostentatious cunts.
31.7.08
Three Parter Part 2: Team Fortress Classic
Now some of might say, and some HAVE, that Team Fortress Classic is basically Team Fortress 2 except with a few bugs and filled with steaming pills of petrified shit. I would like to take those people and take them to the nearest restaurant, sit them down, let them order their food and then just before the food arrives throw a big pot filled with boiling water into their face then slam them onto the cooker that boiled the water. Team Fortress Classic is as good as Team Fortress 2, the only reason people don't like it is that it's different.
The graphics, I admit, aren't the usual high-definition brown-and-gray, or bloom large enough to blind an astronaut on the far side of the moon, it's the Half-Life engine and you better like it because the gameplay never slows due to processor demands. If you've played Team Fortress 2, this is almost entirely different. The main difference are the grenades, there were custom grenades for almost all of the different classes. For example, the Spy has hallucinogenic grenades which make the victim see and hear various attacks being thrown at or near them, such as grenades exploding or shotgun blasts. The Demoman has a cluster grenade which explodes into about 5 smaller bombs, and other grenades like that.
Some classes have their own abilities too, the Spy can feign death to avoid suspicion if enemies run around a corner, the Scout has Caltrops which are very handy if you're on the run as you almost always are. They slow anyone who walks on them to a crawl for a long period of time. Also, the Demoman has a Det-Pack, or as I sometimes call it the "Fuck-You Bomb", set it to about 10 seconds and peg it and everyone within a 10 mile radius will be plastered to the wall in various coloured bits.
The gameplay is fast, much faster than Team Fortress 2. Slower than Deathmatch Classic but faster than Day of Defeat. Everyone gets a piece of the action, especially the medics for some reason. The Medic, instead of having the medigun, the syringe gun and the bonesaw he has a medipack which works the same as the medigun except you have to be right beside the wounded person, also it spreads AIDS to enemies which can only be cured by another medic, a single-barrelled shotgun, a double-barrelled shotgun, a super-nailgun, 3 concussion grenades and 4 frag grenades. This is probably a sign to show that almost everyone is equipped to fight anyone except their polar-opposite.
This may seem good at first, and for the most part it is, except some of it is un-necessary. Also, for the Heavy Weapons Guy, his shotguns use the same ammo as the chain gun so If you used a lot of chain gun ammo and you need to run n' gun you'll be shitting yourself scared when you only have 8 shots left and you have the flag in the middle of their base and your Medic has run off to Rambo somewhere else. Also, the Medic-heavy combo doesn't work as much since the medic has to almost stand in the way of the Heavy to heal him and in more than one occasion other people needs the Medic more and also the Medic is useful for spreading AIDS to the eternal Snipers on the battlements.
The Snipers tactics are very different in Team Fortress Classic due to the fact that the sniper rifle is also a machine gun. Another case of unbalanced weapons is the Pyro's flame rocket launcher and the Spies double-barrelled shotgun and nailgun!
For the insubstantiality of it all, the game has a lot in it and is very fun with a server full of people to help in the unbridled mayhem that is Rambo-ing with a Medic in Red Base's flag room with nothing but a Scout to back you up.
Oh and the same rule applies, dirt cheap and requires almost nothing to run so if you or anyone you know is a cheap bastard and won't get this game for all it's glory bring them to the nearest restaurant and use your imagination.
The graphics, I admit, aren't the usual high-definition brown-and-gray, or bloom large enough to blind an astronaut on the far side of the moon, it's the Half-Life engine and you better like it because the gameplay never slows due to processor demands. If you've played Team Fortress 2, this is almost entirely different. The main difference are the grenades, there were custom grenades for almost all of the different classes. For example, the Spy has hallucinogenic grenades which make the victim see and hear various attacks being thrown at or near them, such as grenades exploding or shotgun blasts. The Demoman has a cluster grenade which explodes into about 5 smaller bombs, and other grenades like that.
Some classes have their own abilities too, the Spy can feign death to avoid suspicion if enemies run around a corner, the Scout has Caltrops which are very handy if you're on the run as you almost always are. They slow anyone who walks on them to a crawl for a long period of time. Also, the Demoman has a Det-Pack, or as I sometimes call it the "Fuck-You Bomb", set it to about 10 seconds and peg it and everyone within a 10 mile radius will be plastered to the wall in various coloured bits.
The gameplay is fast, much faster than Team Fortress 2. Slower than Deathmatch Classic but faster than Day of Defeat. Everyone gets a piece of the action, especially the medics for some reason. The Medic, instead of having the medigun, the syringe gun and the bonesaw he has a medipack which works the same as the medigun except you have to be right beside the wounded person, also it spreads AIDS to enemies which can only be cured by another medic, a single-barrelled shotgun, a double-barrelled shotgun, a super-nailgun, 3 concussion grenades and 4 frag grenades. This is probably a sign to show that almost everyone is equipped to fight anyone except their polar-opposite.
This may seem good at first, and for the most part it is, except some of it is un-necessary. Also, for the Heavy Weapons Guy, his shotguns use the same ammo as the chain gun so If you used a lot of chain gun ammo and you need to run n' gun you'll be shitting yourself scared when you only have 8 shots left and you have the flag in the middle of their base and your Medic has run off to Rambo somewhere else. Also, the Medic-heavy combo doesn't work as much since the medic has to almost stand in the way of the Heavy to heal him and in more than one occasion other people needs the Medic more and also the Medic is useful for spreading AIDS to the eternal Snipers on the battlements.
The Snipers tactics are very different in Team Fortress Classic due to the fact that the sniper rifle is also a machine gun. Another case of unbalanced weapons is the Pyro's flame rocket launcher and the Spies double-barrelled shotgun and nailgun!
For the insubstantiality of it all, the game has a lot in it and is very fun with a server full of people to help in the unbridled mayhem that is Rambo-ing with a Medic in Red Base's flag room with nothing but a Scout to back you up.
Oh and the same rule applies, dirt cheap and requires almost nothing to run so if you or anyone you know is a cheap bastard and won't get this game for all it's glory bring them to the nearest restaurant and use your imagination.
27.7.08
Deathmatch Classic Review
Yes, I know this game is old.
Yes, I know it's not very popular.
No, I'm not going to do a Halo 3 review. EVER.
Deathmatch Classic is, in my opinion, a welcome step back in the First Person Shooter genre. I'm not sure if you have ever played DOOM or DOOM II, if you haven't do now or else you will miss out in the grand-daddy of modern-day shooters. The game was essentially 2.5D, maybe less because the BUILD engine was officially 2.5D. Also, I'm not too sure if you've played QUAKE, another game spelled totally in capitol letters, but it is another milestone in the FPS genre as well. I will show you a picture from DOOM, QUAKE then Deathmatch Classic and see what the similarities are:
OK, if you can't see the similarities between these games I'm going to have to beat you till you snap back to 1993. DOOM was made in 1993 (coincidence?) and was one of the first to have 3D maps, but the engine couldn't handle slopes and everything else was 2D, thus the 2.5D name associated with it. The layout is simple: gun in the centre, ammo, health, other ammo types and you. Yes, you. Whenever you get hurt, get damaged, lose health this guy representing YOU does something. That was cool, although you wouldn't get that nowadays. Imagine in Call of Duty 4 there was your HUD and a little box at the bottom with a high-definition version of your face responding to what happens around you.
Let's move onto Quake: gun in the centre, armor, ammo, health and of course, a little man. Quake was made about 3 years after DOOM and I think id's project statement was
Yes, I know it's not very popular.
No, I'm not going to do a Halo 3 review. EVER.
Deathmatch Classic is, in my opinion, a welcome step back in the First Person Shooter genre. I'm not sure if you have ever played DOOM or DOOM II, if you haven't do now or else you will miss out in the grand-daddy of modern-day shooters. The game was essentially 2.5D, maybe less because the BUILD engine was officially 2.5D. Also, I'm not too sure if you've played QUAKE, another game spelled totally in capitol letters, but it is another milestone in the FPS genre as well. I will show you a picture from DOOM, QUAKE then Deathmatch Classic and see what the similarities are:
OK, if you can't see the similarities between these games I'm going to have to beat you till you snap back to 1993. DOOM was made in 1993 (coincidence?) and was one of the first to have 3D maps, but the engine couldn't handle slopes and everything else was 2D, thus the 2.5D name associated with it. The layout is simple: gun in the centre, ammo, health, other ammo types and you. Yes, you. Whenever you get hurt, get damaged, lose health this guy representing YOU does something. That was cool, although you wouldn't get that nowadays. Imagine in Call of Duty 4 there was your HUD and a little box at the bottom with a high-definition version of your face responding to what happens around you.
Let's move onto Quake: gun in the centre, armor, ammo, health and of course, a little man. Quake was made about 3 years after DOOM and I think id's project statement was
"Let's make something like DOOM except with better graphics, full 3D and in castles"
And it worked! Quake was a HUGE success, almost perfect except for the level design. Brown castle after brown castle after brown castle. Could've used some variety but I think space limitations could have caused that.
Now Deathmatch Classic. This was made when the stream of sophisticated shooters started to appear. System Shock 2 is a prime example of a good one that started it. Seeing this Valve probably thought "Let's make something old school, as a final hurrah" so they made Deathmatch Classic (Then Team Fortress Classic, then Day of Defeat, then etc). This time the HUD is the bare minimum: ammo, health and your gun which is in the middle, as it should be for a retro shooter. The action is fast, and I mean FAST. Stand still for 2 seconds and someone will come along and launch a grenade up your ass and watch as your body flies into the many, many lava pits. This may be off-putting to new players but for me, a Serious Sam and Doom fan, this is no problem.
This game basically symbolises the phrase "Hitting the ground running" because as soon as you spawn you have to peg it to the nearest weapon and shoot anything that moves. When it was my friends first time playing, we tried to have a truce but found it too hard because of the paranoia of going around each corner and firing off a few rockets and the freakiness of hearing footsteps behind you and not hearing any shooting makes you want to smash the person behind you in the face with a crowbar.
Now this is a very handy "time waster", if you could call it that. It is extremely fun and extremely fast and is good if you want to use up some excess sugar in your system or want to release some pent up rage and blast the friend up the road in the face with a double barrelled sawn-off shotgun.
You can get this game, Team Fortress Classic and Day of Defeat for less than 10 Euro off steam, each game being well worth that each.I will review those other two games next actually, and since each are relatively small think of this as part one of three of a three part review.
Also, it will run on almost any system made in this decade so there's no real excuse not to get it. Unless you don't have any internet and are reading this off a friends computer you cheap bastard.
And it worked! Quake was a HUGE success, almost perfect except for the level design. Brown castle after brown castle after brown castle. Could've used some variety but I think space limitations could have caused that.
Now Deathmatch Classic. This was made when the stream of sophisticated shooters started to appear. System Shock 2 is a prime example of a good one that started it. Seeing this Valve probably thought "Let's make something old school, as a final hurrah" so they made Deathmatch Classic (Then Team Fortress Classic, then Day of Defeat, then etc). This time the HUD is the bare minimum: ammo, health and your gun which is in the middle, as it should be for a retro shooter. The action is fast, and I mean FAST. Stand still for 2 seconds and someone will come along and launch a grenade up your ass and watch as your body flies into the many, many lava pits. This may be off-putting to new players but for me, a Serious Sam and Doom fan, this is no problem.
This game basically symbolises the phrase "Hitting the ground running" because as soon as you spawn you have to peg it to the nearest weapon and shoot anything that moves. When it was my friends first time playing, we tried to have a truce but found it too hard because of the paranoia of going around each corner and firing off a few rockets and the freakiness of hearing footsteps behind you and not hearing any shooting makes you want to smash the person behind you in the face with a crowbar.
Now this is a very handy "time waster", if you could call it that. It is extremely fun and extremely fast and is good if you want to use up some excess sugar in your system or want to release some pent up rage and blast the friend up the road in the face with a double barrelled sawn-off shotgun.
You can get this game, Team Fortress Classic and Day of Defeat for less than 10 Euro off steam, each game being well worth that each.I will review those other two games next actually, and since each are relatively small think of this as part one of three of a three part review.
Also, it will run on almost any system made in this decade so there's no real excuse not to get it. Unless you don't have any internet and are reading this off a friends computer you cheap bastard.
16.7.08
Gears of War Review
Now before I start I just want to let you know that this review may be fairly obsolete with Gears of War 2 due to come out in November so don't write any hate mail when you read this.
OK, onto the review.
Gears of War is set in a post apocalyptic Earth where, what I can only guess are humanoid creatures, are fighting to take over the surface. Civilisation has gone to hell and Mankind is struggling for survival. Now, you may think that the story goes deeper than that but it doesn't. The story is about deep as a puddle and about as noticeable as one while driving really fast in a car through a street riddled with pot holes and it's been raining for two weeks non-stop and you're trying to spot that specific puddle. The protagonist is Marcus Fenix, a soldier in a group called "The Cogs" or "Cogs of War" or something to play into the title, and is released from prison by his friend Dom who in my opinion is the the coolest mother-fucker in there maybe to the exception of Cole but you don't play as him so who cares.
considerably. In the The gameplay is fairly straight-forward, if not repetitive at times. The routine goes like this: Run, Take Cover, Shoot (Blind firing is optional), Take Cover, Shoot some more, Run and it goes like that for about 90% of the game. There is one driving section in the game but it's short and easy but meant we had to leave the totally kick-ass old guy who had a revolver back at the petrol-station. There are certain mechanics to this game which spices up the gameplay. Multiplayer mode "WarZone", you can curb stomp a downed enemy to finish them off. In Gears of War 2 there's going to be that and more with custom animations for finishing moves for different weapons but we're talking about the first Gears of War so let's get back on topic.
Reloading now isn't just a "Tap-a-Button" reload sequence like 100% of other games out there, in this game when you tap reload a bar shows up with a white section about a third of the way through it. If you tap the reload button again when another white bar starts to fly across the bar and it lands in the white zone you get a perfect reload and it takes a fraction of the time. If you miss it the gun jams and you have to wait till it's fixed. Also while taking cover is easy jumping over objects is a big pile of ass because when you're running away from a group of enemies and have to jump over a barrier you have to take cover with it first, exposing your easily killed body to the enemies, then jumping over it with another press of the button. Now why they couldn't just have had it so that you can jump over it quicker and easier I don't know but it is a killer when you're in trouble.
Also, with the difficulty level, on singleplayer it can be very unforgiving. When your teammates are shot down you can just run over, drag them back up and they're good to go but when you're shot you lose and have to restart at the last checkpoint. This doesn't seem fair because you take risks running out to save them while they just leave you for dead as soon as you fall over. I saw another take of this in Star Wars: Republic Commando and let me tell you this. I fucking love Republic Commando! It livened up my Xbox with great controls, responsive AI and a priority system worthy of God. In Republic Commando you can revive your squad mates or tell another to revive them for you, but if you're down you're on the ground with blurred vision and dulled out hearing, with three options on your visor.
1: Recall and Revive
This will make your squad mates come heal you whenever they have the chance, even when under fire. They won't run on a suicide mission and will say when they can or can't come.
2:Finish Last Order
Your squad will finish the last order you give them before you were downed, such as to kill a large droid or clear a room. It also means that if you choose it, the team will clear the area before healing you.
3:Reload Last Checkpoint
If you want to redo the last section or think there is no chance of revival this is the last resort.
These options made Commando awesome and fluent without making it too easy. I may have said this in my Rainbow Six Vegas review that you can revive team mates but you can't be revived yourself. It's just bad game design.
Now I finished Gears of War on co-op which to me seems like it was made for it. Fairly often you have to split into teams of teo to explore both routes and that usually means one human player and one AI per team, with one team needing the help of the other at certain points. The levels were very challenging but some sections were just unreal. There was one section where we first get shotguns and we were supposed to be freaked out by munchkins charging at us from both ends of a corridor. Rather than being scared we pissed ourselves laughing at how the ragdolls flew and exploded in mid air.
The one complaint I have is a major one. When you get to the last boss, usually it's hard. I mean hard. As in you could throw a stick of dynamite at it and it wouldn't do a thing. In Gears of War this is not the case. The last boss is a testosterone filled rocket-man with a shield which lasts for 4 seconds before it flies off trying to attack us only realising we're in the light and gets scared and runs off back to offer a small amount of protection to the slow, grunting rocket hoar with bad aim. All you need is a sniper and a knack of avoiding really slow rockets and you're done! He doesn't even take that long to kill!
I know this was a launch game for the 360 and they had no real experience with past games for it but to me it seems unfinished. Unrefined. In need of a longer campaign, good storyline and a good fucking ending.
I'd give this game a "Should buy for the experience, but don't expect to replaying it anytime soon"
P.S.: Any game made by a developer called "Epic Games" HAS to be worth buying.
OK, onto the review.
Gears of War is set in a post apocalyptic Earth where, what I can only guess are humanoid creatures, are fighting to take over the surface. Civilisation has gone to hell and Mankind is struggling for survival. Now, you may think that the story goes deeper than that but it doesn't. The story is about deep as a puddle and about as noticeable as one while driving really fast in a car through a street riddled with pot holes and it's been raining for two weeks non-stop and you're trying to spot that specific puddle. The protagonist is Marcus Fenix, a soldier in a group called "The Cogs" or "Cogs of War" or something to play into the title, and is released from prison by his friend Dom who in my opinion is the the coolest mother-fucker in there maybe to the exception of Cole but you don't play as him so who cares.
considerably. In the The gameplay is fairly straight-forward, if not repetitive at times. The routine goes like this: Run, Take Cover, Shoot (Blind firing is optional), Take Cover, Shoot some more, Run and it goes like that for about 90% of the game. There is one driving section in the game but it's short and easy but meant we had to leave the totally kick-ass old guy who had a revolver back at the petrol-station. There are certain mechanics to this game which spices up the gameplay. Multiplayer mode "WarZone", you can curb stomp a downed enemy to finish them off. In Gears of War 2 there's going to be that and more with custom animations for finishing moves for different weapons but we're talking about the first Gears of War so let's get back on topic.
Reloading now isn't just a "Tap-a-Button" reload sequence like 100% of other games out there, in this game when you tap reload a bar shows up with a white section about a third of the way through it. If you tap the reload button again when another white bar starts to fly across the bar and it lands in the white zone you get a perfect reload and it takes a fraction of the time. If you miss it the gun jams and you have to wait till it's fixed. Also while taking cover is easy jumping over objects is a big pile of ass because when you're running away from a group of enemies and have to jump over a barrier you have to take cover with it first, exposing your easily killed body to the enemies, then jumping over it with another press of the button. Now why they couldn't just have had it so that you can jump over it quicker and easier I don't know but it is a killer when you're in trouble.
Also, with the difficulty level, on singleplayer it can be very unforgiving. When your teammates are shot down you can just run over, drag them back up and they're good to go but when you're shot you lose and have to restart at the last checkpoint. This doesn't seem fair because you take risks running out to save them while they just leave you for dead as soon as you fall over. I saw another take of this in Star Wars: Republic Commando and let me tell you this. I fucking love Republic Commando! It livened up my Xbox with great controls, responsive AI and a priority system worthy of God. In Republic Commando you can revive your squad mates or tell another to revive them for you, but if you're down you're on the ground with blurred vision and dulled out hearing, with three options on your visor.
1: Recall and Revive
This will make your squad mates come heal you whenever they have the chance, even when under fire. They won't run on a suicide mission and will say when they can or can't come.
2:Finish Last Order
Your squad will finish the last order you give them before you were downed, such as to kill a large droid or clear a room. It also means that if you choose it, the team will clear the area before healing you.
3:Reload Last Checkpoint
If you want to redo the last section or think there is no chance of revival this is the last resort.
These options made Commando awesome and fluent without making it too easy. I may have said this in my Rainbow Six Vegas review that you can revive team mates but you can't be revived yourself. It's just bad game design.
Now I finished Gears of War on co-op which to me seems like it was made for it. Fairly often you have to split into teams of teo to explore both routes and that usually means one human player and one AI per team, with one team needing the help of the other at certain points. The levels were very challenging but some sections were just unreal. There was one section where we first get shotguns and we were supposed to be freaked out by munchkins charging at us from both ends of a corridor. Rather than being scared we pissed ourselves laughing at how the ragdolls flew and exploded in mid air.
The one complaint I have is a major one. When you get to the last boss, usually it's hard. I mean hard. As in you could throw a stick of dynamite at it and it wouldn't do a thing. In Gears of War this is not the case. The last boss is a testosterone filled rocket-man with a shield which lasts for 4 seconds before it flies off trying to attack us only realising we're in the light and gets scared and runs off back to offer a small amount of protection to the slow, grunting rocket hoar with bad aim. All you need is a sniper and a knack of avoiding really slow rockets and you're done! He doesn't even take that long to kill!
I know this was a launch game for the 360 and they had no real experience with past games for it but to me it seems unfinished. Unrefined. In need of a longer campaign, good storyline and a good fucking ending.
I'd give this game a "Should buy for the experience, but don't expect to replaying it anytime soon"
P.S.: Any game made by a developer called "Epic Games" HAS to be worth buying.
2.7.08
Tom Clancy's: Rainbow Six Vegas 2 Review
TC:RSV2 as it is unoriginaly called is a sequel to TC:RSV which is a tactical shooter based in Las Vegas New Mexico... I mean Nevada. When I got this game I had no idea what it was going to be like, since my only previous experience with Tom Clancy is his Splinter Cell games which I must say is a good series and I hope they don't fuck it up with bad story like Metal Gear.
Now, I managed to sneak into the TARDIS for a few seconds while the Doctor was getting aquainted with his new robotic friend and I had a spin with it.
To my surprise it took me back to my Counter-Strike days when I used only two types of weapons: the ones that are practical and money efficient and the ones that just look freaking cool. What made this even better is when I found out about skins, so all of my practical weapons became even more freaking cool.
To my surprise, Vegas 2 was the same experience for me. It needed skill and a really itchy trigger finger to get everyone without dying and a really good eye if you're a sniper as I am. Now, the main reason I bought this game is for the co-op, and when I looked at the back of the box and saw the blind-firing-wall-hugging style game play I thought "Dear Lord, is this going to be another shitty Gears of War rip-off?" and when I looked at the first menu screen I was glad that I was wrong. I found out that you could customise your character from a wide range of stuff even from the beginning and it could only get better from there. What is also a good feature is being able to choose your starting weapons, armour and explosives and because I'm such a sniping bastard I chose a scout sniper and an mp9, which I first thought was mp7 because my TV is so shit and was kind of disappointed with it, and a pistol but at the time I didn't know how to select the pistol so I just left it with a p99 with a laser. The first thing you do with a new game is bitch-slap the controller to see what each button does. And no sooner did I do this I found the controls to be perfect with the flow of the game. Well almost perfect. Doesn't it suck when you think something in a game is "The Shit" and makes it seem like the high point of a game then it starts nibbling on your shoulder like a suger-crazed friend after you tank through him in rugby? the way to select the pistol is un-intuitive at best and could be significantly improved. You have to hold the Y button and move the left analog stick to it to select it and it is kind of annoying when cocky American terrorists are swearing and blind firing their way up your ASS. It would have been much better to tap Y to switch between main weapons and old it down for like 1 second to go to the pistol. And it would have been better to hold or even better double tap B to switch between explosives, because if you want to cook a grenade, which is a phrase I found very weird because if you were to "cook" a grenade it would surely blow up in your face. Anyway, back on target, the laser pointer on the pistols I find very annoying because the laser immediately want to align where the barrel is pointing and for appearances sake that is different to the actual crosshair and so whenever you shoot the laser goes wherever it fucking wants then snaps back into place where the crosshair is and it's a bitch when moving and firing because you no longer have the ability to shoot where you want and get blasted in the face by a camper with a shot gun. Another point is the lack of a melee attack, so if a testosterone filled prick runs around the corner while you're reloading you're FUCKED. Also, in the first Vegas game there was 4 player co-op but now it's only 2 which is better in a way that the screen isn't cluttered but the split is vertical not horizontal and how can you scan a room for enemies while all you can see the the ceiling, floor and door frame. The "Thermal Scan" is a vertical thermal map of your area which is very useful but you only get once every few minutes and is horrible when playing split-screen because It takes up about a third of player ones screen space.
But defenitaly this game's two shining lights are the unlockables and the quality of the co-op. For instance I like to play as a sniper. You get markmanship points by killing people in a specific way, such as from a long distance, headshot etc and they get you more points. the more points you get the higher level in that aspect you go in either Markmanship, CQB or Assault. Personally I think markmanship is piss easy and Could be gotten with a motherfucking shotgun but it wouldn't be as satisfying as sniping a guard off a ledge to hide the body or pistol-ing someone from across the map. Also the more people you kill the more experience you get and the higher rank you achieve. Such as the first rank requires 500 XP which would mean killing 50 enemies on the hardest difficulty and achieving new ranks unlocks new armor, cosmetic armor and different types of camoflauge. All this is is purely for looks besides the ammount of protection you have but I don't see any noticable difference when an enemy sniper decides to shoot one into your bollocks, you die in one hit if your hit in the torso, head, legs, etc except if it clips you and that makes you as week as hell for about 20 seconds which is a bitch when Jung runs out and gets sniped in the head and you have to save him.
Personally I can handle the snipers no problem it's the fact that they pin my teamates to the floor is the hard part there. If you take a shot at them and you miss theres a 50/50 chance that they'll hit you unless you time it right and bait their shots. Also I never understood why in a team based games enemies always shoot YOU even though your friends are sleeping out in the open and you're inside a bunker with 1 small hole to shoot through, the enemies in Vegas almost always shout "Aim for their leader" which is an attempt to cover up the fact that the developers couldn't share the shots out equally.
My last point is the AI chat system which in some places is plainly scripted but in battle they actually give orders and reply to them depending on the situation. Once I was sniping down a hall and one guys shouts "Cover me!" and looks out to see where I am. I shoot his friend in the leg because by the time I saw him look up I shot another guy, and the first guy's friend just shouts "Fuck you asshole, cover me!" Which I think is a very good touch. Another example went like this:
Enemy 1: Throw a flashbang!
Enemy 2: Watch your eyes!
Enemy 3: Shut up, just throw it!
All in all this is a very good game and even after completing it once you want to do it again for the higher ranks, new clothes, armour and guns. Incedentaly I have all the weapons I want, a P90, a sniper, C4 which I use for traps, opening doors and as grenades, and frag grenades. This is also amazing for co-op except maybe for the annoying objective update video box on Players 2 screen for a short while and the Thermal Scan on Player 1 but it is thoroughly enjoyable if not a bit short on the story aspect. I won't use numbers to category this game so I'll just say it's a "Very good buy"
Now, I managed to sneak into the TARDIS for a few seconds while the Doctor was getting aquainted with his new robotic friend and I had a spin with it.
To my surprise it took me back to my Counter-Strike days when I used only two types of weapons: the ones that are practical and money efficient and the ones that just look freaking cool. What made this even better is when I found out about skins, so all of my practical weapons became even more freaking cool.
To my surprise, Vegas 2 was the same experience for me. It needed skill and a really itchy trigger finger to get everyone without dying and a really good eye if you're a sniper as I am. Now, the main reason I bought this game is for the co-op, and when I looked at the back of the box and saw the blind-firing-wall-hugging style game play I thought "Dear Lord, is this going to be another shitty Gears of War rip-off?" and when I looked at the first menu screen I was glad that I was wrong. I found out that you could customise your character from a wide range of stuff even from the beginning and it could only get better from there. What is also a good feature is being able to choose your starting weapons, armour and explosives and because I'm such a sniping bastard I chose a scout sniper and an mp9, which I first thought was mp7 because my TV is so shit and was kind of disappointed with it, and a pistol but at the time I didn't know how to select the pistol so I just left it with a p99 with a laser. The first thing you do with a new game is bitch-slap the controller to see what each button does. And no sooner did I do this I found the controls to be perfect with the flow of the game. Well almost perfect. Doesn't it suck when you think something in a game is "The Shit" and makes it seem like the high point of a game then it starts nibbling on your shoulder like a suger-crazed friend after you tank through him in rugby? the way to select the pistol is un-intuitive at best and could be significantly improved. You have to hold the Y button and move the left analog stick to it to select it and it is kind of annoying when cocky American terrorists are swearing and blind firing their way up your ASS. It would have been much better to tap Y to switch between main weapons and old it down for like 1 second to go to the pistol. And it would have been better to hold or even better double tap B to switch between explosives, because if you want to cook a grenade, which is a phrase I found very weird because if you were to "cook" a grenade it would surely blow up in your face. Anyway, back on target, the laser pointer on the pistols I find very annoying because the laser immediately want to align where the barrel is pointing and for appearances sake that is different to the actual crosshair and so whenever you shoot the laser goes wherever it fucking wants then snaps back into place where the crosshair is and it's a bitch when moving and firing because you no longer have the ability to shoot where you want and get blasted in the face by a camper with a shot gun. Another point is the lack of a melee attack, so if a testosterone filled prick runs around the corner while you're reloading you're FUCKED. Also, in the first Vegas game there was 4 player co-op but now it's only 2 which is better in a way that the screen isn't cluttered but the split is vertical not horizontal and how can you scan a room for enemies while all you can see the the ceiling, floor and door frame. The "Thermal Scan" is a vertical thermal map of your area which is very useful but you only get once every few minutes and is horrible when playing split-screen because It takes up about a third of player ones screen space.But defenitaly this game's two shining lights are the unlockables and the quality of the co-op. For instance I like to play as a sniper. You get markmanship points by killing people in a specific way, such as from a long distance, headshot etc and they get you more points. the more points you get the higher level in that aspect you go in either Markmanship, CQB or Assault. Personally I think markmanship is piss easy and Could be gotten with a motherfucking shotgun but it wouldn't be as satisfying as sniping a guard off a ledge to hide the body or pistol-ing someone from across the map. Also the more people you kill the more experience you get and the higher rank you achieve. Such as the first rank requires 500 XP which would mean killing 50 enemies on the hardest difficulty and achieving new ranks unlocks new armor, cosmetic armor and different types of camoflauge. All this is is purely for looks besides the ammount of protection you have but I don't see any noticable difference when an enemy sniper decides to shoot one into your bollocks, you die in one hit if your hit in the torso, head, legs, etc except if it clips you and that makes you as week as hell for about 20 seconds which is a bitch when Jung runs out and gets sniped in the head and you have to save him.
Personally I can handle the snipers no problem it's the fact that they pin my teamates to the floor is the hard part there. If you take a shot at them and you miss theres a 50/50 chance that they'll hit you unless you time it right and bait their shots. Also I never understood why in a team based games enemies always shoot YOU even though your friends are sleeping out in the open and you're inside a bunker with 1 small hole to shoot through, the enemies in Vegas almost always shout "Aim for their leader" which is an attempt to cover up the fact that the developers couldn't share the shots out equally.
My last point is the AI chat system which in some places is plainly scripted but in battle they actually give orders and reply to them depending on the situation. Once I was sniping down a hall and one guys shouts "Cover me!" and looks out to see where I am. I shoot his friend in the leg because by the time I saw him look up I shot another guy, and the first guy's friend just shouts "Fuck you asshole, cover me!" Which I think is a very good touch. Another example went like this:
Enemy 1: Throw a flashbang!
Enemy 2: Watch your eyes!
Enemy 3: Shut up, just throw it!
All in all this is a very good game and even after completing it once you want to do it again for the higher ranks, new clothes, armour and guns. Incedentaly I have all the weapons I want, a P90, a sniper, C4 which I use for traps, opening doors and as grenades, and frag grenades. This is also amazing for co-op except maybe for the annoying objective update video box on Players 2 screen for a short while and the Thermal Scan on Player 1 but it is thoroughly enjoyable if not a bit short on the story aspect. I won't use numbers to category this game so I'll just say it's a "Very good buy"
Fuck It, I'm Not Doing It Anymore!
Yes, that's right. I have abandoned my RE4 review because things keep cocking up on me and it is pissing me off. I will only do reviews on request and if I have it. I might even do old NES/SNES/Genesis games depending and I don't care if they're good or bad as long as it gives me enough material to write with. I apologise to all 1 of you who actually read my blog about this but it's just a load of grind to try get the review out.
Actually, I'll review anything, ANYTHING! Well, it will be very rare if I actually review anything outside of what interests me so all you politicaly mal-adjusted freaks who get a boner from people talking about the oil crisis can go fuck themselves.
Actually, I'll review anything, ANYTHING! Well, it will be very rare if I actually review anything outside of what interests me so all you politicaly mal-adjusted freaks who get a boner from people talking about the oil crisis can go fuck themselves.
28.6.08
Ugh, So Annoying...
Things are coming up that I hoped wouldn't come up, and other stuff too.
Exhibit 1:
GMod on my laptop is starting to give up on me. Whenever I try to generate the spawn icons for the PC tuning mod for different pictures and it crashes out on me. It doesn't seem to matter what map I'm on it doesn't load properly. It's really annoying.
Exhibit 2:
GMod on my PC doesn't seem to like cs_office much so whenever I load it there are the redundant black and purple shadings on the wall which REALLY shouldn't be there, it's just wrong.
Exhibit 3:
I WANT AIRSOFT. If that wasn't clear enough, let me clear it up.
For the un-initiated, airsoft is a game, some say sport but really it's just a hobby, and it uses toy "guns" and fire plastic BB's at 1 joule energy max which is the legal limit in this country. Once you hit some one with a BB, depending on the rules, you either call "hit" and what number hit it is and at 3 hits you're out, or the other type you go out on the first hit and after a few minutes in the regen area you go back into the game. The rules are simple enough but it requires everyone to have a decent level of honesty and a basic level of intelligence to not shoot team mates, which is more than I can say for most computer-game AI.
The "devices" as they are called, are almost perfect replicas of real world guns on an aesthetic standpoint but differ majorly in the internal mechanics. Instead of using a hammer to ignite the gunpowder inside the bullet casing, but airsoft guns use air or gas pressure to move the BB out of the barrel. There are 3 different types of airsoft gun. Spring, which requires the user to pull the spring back after each shot, being cheap and fits perfectly with shotguns and snipers. AEG, Automatic Electric Gun, which uses a motor for auto or burst fire in machine guns and some contain a Blow-Back feature to simulate recoil. GBB or Gass Blow Back uses Green Gas, Propane or other gas to propel the BB and move the slide on what most GBB are, which are pistols.
Some AEG's:
Some Spring Guns:
Some GBB's:
Now some of you may think "These look too real to be legal", or "They could kill someone/take an eye out". Let me talk directly for a moment, I understand people's worries about this hobby, criminals could use them to rob shops etc. But the fact is is that airsoft doesn't cause gun crime. Guns are already here! Come one, come all to the Irish black market! Buy an Uzi and get a pistol free! Airsoft, actually, makes it safer. True, you'll be scared shitless when a gun is pointed at you but would you rather a real gun which will blow the bollocks out of you or an airsoft gun that can't even take an eye out. You may say that there's no difference it still looks like a gun but it's just safer.
So that brings me to the end of my Airsoft rant, and how much I want it, and how I can't make any GMod pictures for the time being. I'll update when I can and show some pictures I've managed to make. So look forward to some cool RE4 pictures.
Exhibit 1:
GMod on my laptop is starting to give up on me. Whenever I try to generate the spawn icons for the PC tuning mod for different pictures and it crashes out on me. It doesn't seem to matter what map I'm on it doesn't load properly. It's really annoying.
Exhibit 2:
GMod on my PC doesn't seem to like cs_office much so whenever I load it there are the redundant black and purple shadings on the wall which REALLY shouldn't be there, it's just wrong.
Exhibit 3:
I WANT AIRSOFT. If that wasn't clear enough, let me clear it up.
I
WANT
AIRSOFT!
WANT
AIRSOFT!
For the un-initiated, airsoft is a game, some say sport but really it's just a hobby, and it uses toy "guns" and fire plastic BB's at 1 joule energy max which is the legal limit in this country. Once you hit some one with a BB, depending on the rules, you either call "hit" and what number hit it is and at 3 hits you're out, or the other type you go out on the first hit and after a few minutes in the regen area you go back into the game. The rules are simple enough but it requires everyone to have a decent level of honesty and a basic level of intelligence to not shoot team mates, which is more than I can say for most computer-game AI.
The "devices" as they are called, are almost perfect replicas of real world guns on an aesthetic standpoint but differ majorly in the internal mechanics. Instead of using a hammer to ignite the gunpowder inside the bullet casing, but airsoft guns use air or gas pressure to move the BB out of the barrel. There are 3 different types of airsoft gun. Spring, which requires the user to pull the spring back after each shot, being cheap and fits perfectly with shotguns and snipers. AEG, Automatic Electric Gun, which uses a motor for auto or burst fire in machine guns and some contain a Blow-Back feature to simulate recoil. GBB or Gass Blow Back uses Green Gas, Propane or other gas to propel the BB and move the slide on what most GBB are, which are pistols.
Some AEG's:
Some Spring Guns:
Some GBB's:
Now some of you may think "These look too real to be legal", or "They could kill someone/take an eye out". Let me talk directly for a moment, I understand people's worries about this hobby, criminals could use them to rob shops etc. But the fact is is that airsoft doesn't cause gun crime. Guns are already here! Come one, come all to the Irish black market! Buy an Uzi and get a pistol free! Airsoft, actually, makes it safer. True, you'll be scared shitless when a gun is pointed at you but would you rather a real gun which will blow the bollocks out of you or an airsoft gun that can't even take an eye out. You may say that there's no difference it still looks like a gun but it's just safer.
Now back to the main point: Airsoft is a hobby for ages about 14+, and no I'm not saying that BECAUSE I'm 14 smartass I'm saying that because the closest site has a minimum age of 14. It's a bit of fun and the guns and accessories look cool and would be good experience looking at the motors to see how they work. It is also good exercise and very stress-relieving when you're shooting at what you imagine as communists with an M60 Rambo style
So that brings me to the end of my Airsoft rant, and how much I want it, and how I can't make any GMod pictures for the time being. I'll update when I can and show some pictures I've managed to make. So look forward to some cool RE4 pictures.
26.6.08
I Apologise, My Leige
I know, I know, the Resident Evil 4 review is slow. Very slow. Currently though, I am busy with sailing, doing my autoexec for TF2 and experimenting with new techniques. I am thinking of doing a video, obviously inspired by Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw, and that will take time. I found this picture in the depths of my screenshots folder so enjoy if you can, comment is you must.
18.6.08
OK... Wait what?
I'm gonna kick the UISCE review in the head because I'm not bothered. What I will do is a Resident Evil 4 review, which will feature LOADS of pictures since some stuff needs visualisations to explain them.
Have fun waiting.
Have fun waiting.
15.6.08
I'm Back
Ok, so I'm back from UISCE and I will give you a 3 A4 page review on it....but not now. I'm wrecked and I'm just not bothered. I'm not even bothered to make a Gmod picture for the occasion that's how much I'm wrecked.
31.5.08
Why hello thar!?
Goodbye for now, ElSniperino! We'll miss you :P
Well ElSniperino is gone at the moment, so I'll just be keeping YOU guys updated with what he's doing, just thought you might wanna know!
Want to know more about me, Stig? : http://stiggoldenbullet.blogspot.com/ .
Cya later!
30.5.08
Going to Colaiste Uisce In... 8 Hours
"It will be a great craic over there"
OK, first let me explain the quality of the image. I had no time to cut off the bar(s) at the top so I'm leaving it like this. This is our "just got there" picture. On the left is Paul. He is smart, and also a smart ass sometimes. In the centre is me, a cynical joker with a small chip on my shoulder and on the right in Conor. He is an energetic bastard with a tendency to punch you in the balls and bite when threatened. Even with his slight tendency to cannibalism he is one of my best friends. We're leaving at God knows how early in the morning and we have to stay on a bus for 6+ hours to get across the country. I got lots of phone credit and money so if I find someone to update my blog for me I will.
It will be a great craic over there for the two weeks and I will regale you all with stories of hilarity and embarresment.
Filler_001
Ok, THIS is the filler. I am playing a guitar solo that can only be described as the solo from Aerodynamic, Iron Man by Black Sabbath and the whole of Cliffs of Dover. It could only be more awesome if "it had tits and was on fire".
My Work...Is Done....
After a week of tests and pretending to study, I have finally gotten all of my work done. The only worries about them I have are of my Irish, Business and Classical Studies. I know this is a short post, but it is kind of a filler. Actually the next one is a filler because I have an awesome picture.
28.5.08
New Direction for a Moment
"Who gives a bollocks to Blu-Ray because the only people who use it are snobby ignoramous's and PS3 owners"
I'm not even sure WHY I'm looking into this, but because the first person ever requested it I'll do it.
Semiconductor Wafer Microchip EEstor HDTV Genetics, from what I can gather, is a new affordable technology in the creation of HDTV's and the such, but allow me to talk directly for a moment. I personally don't see a major difference between an ordinary LCD TV and a HDTV because it never really mattered. True, I play most console games, to the exception of my Wii, on an older CRT TV and it kinda looks like shite. True, I would like a HDTV because I have a HD cable for my 360 and it would be awesome. But for general TV and such as long as I can see it it's grand so I have no real need for one except to "bling" out my 360.
Right, back to the chips. Apparently the are so super cheap and of good quality that every screen could be High-defenition and everything else will be useless. Blu-Ray is kind of like HDDVD, but who gives a bollocks to Blu-Ray because the only people who use it are snobby ignoramous's and PS3 owners (Not you, of course Stig).
All in all thesewafer microchips could infact take over the market by 2012 but until then I'll just use my big tube attached to a thick pane of glass in a creaky plastic box.
Put 'em Up!
OK, due to severe boredom and lack of inspiration I need something to genuinely talk about. Preferably I would like someone to request a game to review or preview or maybe ask for another piece of treasure I find behind my Stargate DVD collection. So please, give me something to do!
27.5.08
"The DIG" Review
"I think that LucasArts has officially lost itself"I've decided to start my reviewing career with a look on an old game I have. Most if not all of you have heard of LucasArts, the company that has done nothing but shoot itself in the foot for the past few years. LucasArts used to be a favourite company of mine for making lovable and funny point and click adventure games such as "Grim Fandango" and "The DIG" but recently have been beating the Star Wars horse so much it's now a lump of rotten lumpy goo. Somewhere along the line the big wigs at LucasArts decided to get rid of the cleverness from games and beat the aforementioned Star Wars horse.
"The DIG" is a 2D point and click adventure game which just adds to feeling like you're playing a classic. The story goes that you and 2 other people, a German scientist and an American journalist, go to space to move an asteroid away from hitting Earth. But after the bombs that move the asteroid blow up, you look in the crater, find signs of alien life then for some arbitrary reason put plates to make a geometrical shape then go hurtling out to space and land on an alien planet. The whole place is 5 spires and a central island and you have to work out how to get home. Pretty soon the German dude Brink dies then a few minutes later you use a random crystal you found on the ground to make him alive again but now he's a hyper-active druggy who's only goal is to piss of everyone else and hang out alone like an emo waiting for his next fix. The chances are that you are never going to play the game so the story continues as the journalist woman is kidnapped by a giant spider while trying to decode and ancient alien language then you have to do this fucking retarded puzzle of re-creating an animals skeletal structure with no clues. Then you find this weird alien who tells you nothing you need to know and it takes half an hour to do so. Then you kill Brink by tackling him so he falls off a cliff. Then you find a big machine which can bring back the aliens but on the way the American bitch dies too which leaves me wondering if this place was an alien city place thing or is it designed to kill people? Then you walk through what can only be described as a dark room with smoke and bubbles. After just walking through you win the fucking game, everyones alive. EVERYONE even Brink and yer woman who are like 60 now are back and the aliens just say "thanks for the help now bugger off" and make another flying pentagon thing and you go home.
The whole game was easy except for two parts. The turtle bones and another one which takes about five years to do. You have to move a floating... thing to pick up a lens and fix it to a generator to get power. It would have been a fair puzzle to figure out if you just had to get the floating thing to the lens but no! You have to use these controls which are annoying to use since they only let you pre-determine where it will go with no prior indication of how far it will go. Then after finally picking it up which you do by putting the floating thing 2 "spaces" above the lens. I say "spaces" because the camera angle is so messed up that it may as well told me to thread a needle blindfolded while jumping out of an aeroplane. After doing so you have to put the lens back onto the machine again by using the floating thing which can fuck right off. I was tempted to abandon the game there but wanted to play it through because the voice acting is pure gold. The "commander" you play as has the typical "I want to keep everyone alive so follow me" attitude which sends all of his friends running off doing something else leaving me very alone except for the communicator which has 4 people on it but for 90% of the game you can only talk to the journalist. The good thing about the communicator is that it has "Lunar Landing" on it which is frightfully addictive. The journalist woman has the "I'm an independent woman" tone mixed with "I'm usually right" making here my number one bitch of 1997. Brink has a thick German accent and is great because he has lines that would have come from an 80's sit com.
Overall I like "The DIG".It's intuitive and fun and even more so because I got it to work on the laptop which is better than running a game on my beefy computer when I could play it whenever I feel like doing a good puzzle. This was one of LucasArts last games before diving into the Star Wars mud puddle and I think LucasArts has officially lost itself after Grim Fandango. Incidentally Tim Schafer, a key member of LucasArts cleverness before it's demise has made the company "Double Fine" and I hope that he makes another point and click game to fill my life with laughter and clicking.
PC Problems
"It seems as though my PC wants to destroy me and all my stuff because I try to play games on it"
Well, it seems as though I update pretty often for now. Good or not I'll let you figure that out. Recently, especially since I've started "studying", my PC keeps repeatedly pissing itself then dying. The first problem was when the screen wouldn't turn on. At first I was certain that it was the plug not being in properly. After a few hefty kicks in the socket the screen still wouldn't turn back on. I dragged my tower from under my 1 square metre table to my 3 square metre floor and checked the cables. The cables were fine, and by this point I was considering dumping the screen on the floor and go downstairs to play Psychonauts when I had a brainwave. I took the beaten plug from the socket and found a random piece of metal and spent 5 minutes taking the plastic off of the fuse cover. Finally I got it off and found that the fuse was miss-aligned. I fixed it and put it back in and happily turned on my PC to play some BioShock demo. I started up steam and to my complete and utter amazement my PC wasn't behaving, says ElSniperino thick with sarcasm. I accidentally loaded Gmod instead of Bioshock but I was going to have lunch so I thought that I could exit it after lunch.
After lunch I got back upstairs to a blue screen staring at me defiantly in the eyes. My desktop seems to be "Schrodinger's PC", being both dead and not dead until I walk into the room and the waveform collapses. Thankfully to some degree, it wasn't the Blue-Screen-of-Death but somehow the graphics card failed while showing a 2D screen. I restarted the computer and ran the Counter-Strike: Source video stress test which passed at 85 fps on average. I started up the BioShock demo when suddenly... nothing wrong happens. I happily play 2K's great first person shooter which I hear a movie is being made of it. After about 20 minutes I finish the demo and update all my Gmod SVN's so I can keep up with all the other up-to-date pricks out there and when I copy my SpaceBuild models over to my addons folder the elevator is named to long for XP to fucking handle, although my laptop can handle it fine.
Note: The last comment about my laptop handling it has now shit itself inside out, now it to has jumped on the band-wagon of "Too long to specify" name which frankly is a bunch of bullshit and chipsWho ever named it so long, you know who you are, should really be ashamed of themselves for naming it so god damned long. I abandon the models and go to play some wholesome singleplayer with my new toys, but when I load up the first thing the fucking PC crashes. It seems as though my PC wants to destroy me and all my stuff because I try to play games on it.
Anyways, just to say that I will make a pre-posted update from my time in the Gealtacht because the only internet is a 20 minute drive away from the house which we can't do so stop whining about a lack of updates I'm doing the best I can so sit down and enjoy it, it's all you're getting.
26.5.08
Just a Little Update
I just tought of something to make some of my points less of a psychotic jabbering and more of an understandable jabbering for the people who need help dressing themselves so I've decided to add images where appropriate. I will make them in Gmod, some on my laptop, and some on my desktop. You will see the difference between the two machines because the laptop was specificaly designed to not play Source games properly so the lighting, models and maybe even the textures will be either better, worse or strangly cool in an "artistic" type of way.
Here is an example, which I was going to use souly for a post about me studying and my tests but decided to use them here, and due to the akwardness of this blog, the pic is at the top. Take it away, myself.
25.5.08
Well, isn't this interesting?
So, this is....my blog. Not much to say right now, it's about 45 seconds old so don't expect much from me so far. Anyways, it's gonna stay like this for the next few weeks because of exams and the Gealtacht for anyone who knows me know what this is. If you don't know what this is however, let me educate you. The Gealtacht (pronounced "Gale-talkt") is a 2-3 week course in which you speak nothing but Irish and have fun. By the way I am Irish so anyone who is wondering
1.No, I do not have a sheep-dog, or sheep.
2.No, we do not say "Oh, begosh" or any other stereotypical crap like that.
3.Yes, we do have Domino's Pizza, it's very good.
Right, now that's cleared up, let me just say that in each of my posts that I will be writing in the most journalistic, humourous and cynical manner I can obtain.
Now just to put in here, look at Stig Goldenbullet's blog. He's my friend and a fackeen oresum person too.
1.No, I do not have a sheep-dog, or sheep.
2.No, we do not say "Oh, begosh" or any other stereotypical crap like that.
3.Yes, we do have Domino's Pizza, it's very good.
Right, now that's cleared up, let me just say that in each of my posts that I will be writing in the most journalistic, humourous and cynical manner I can obtain.
Now just to put in here, look at Stig Goldenbullet's blog. He's my friend and a fackeen oresum person too.
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